Easterbrook Hall Blog

Top 10 Wedding Speech Jokes

There are lots of gags that get laughs at weddings but when speech writing you should decide if you are including the jokes to get a big belly laugh or whether you are aware that they are heard at almost every wedding that takes place!

Counting down the top 10 most used (yet still funny) are:

10.  The last time I addressed a room full of people like this I was in court

9.  (upon standing to start your speech) Ladies and gentlemen let me tell you that not the first time today I have risen from a warm seat with a bit of paper in my hand

8.  If im the best man then why has she married him?

7.  (ask the bride to place her hand on the table and the groom to place his on top) Enjoy it as it’s the last time you will have the upper hand!

6.  The bride and groom arranged the seating plan in accordance with the value of your wedding present.  So thanks to Dave at the back there for the oven gloves!

5.  (groom) said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than (Bride) did.

4.   The most effective way to remember your wedding anniversary is to forget it once!

3. None of you will know this, but I’ve actually congratulated the groom already.  I said to him, ‘Well done! You will always look back on today as the happiest and best thing you’ve ever done.’ Fitting words, I thought, at the end of a fantastic stag do

2.  I have a card here for you from some guests that couldn’t make it ‘ Dear (groom) we are sorry we couldn’t make it to day hope to see you soon from all the girls at the velvet lounge’

And drum roll please in first place:
Its been an emotional day – even the cake is in tiers!

And some terrible toasts to finish:

To our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet.”

“To my best friend and his beautiful new bride – May all your ups and downs be in the bedroom.”

“I’d like to thank Mastercard and Visa, without whom this would never have been possible. I really do mean it when I say the bride and groom will be in their debt forever.”

“ A toast to the most important people here today – the bar staff”

“ words of wisdom – never go to bed on an argument – stay up and fight it out!”

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